you dont deserve me
by prc101
Summary: james and lily are together in their 7th year. after a while, lily broke up with james. why did she?


You don't deserve me

It was raining hard outsider Hogwarts and a certain red head was walking outside, soaking wet, and not noticing it was raining. This certain red head's name was Lily Evans. Lily Evans was the smartest witch in all her classes. Even though she is intelligent, her beauty is what separates her from the other girls in her class. She has auburn hair with snow white complexion. She has the most gorgeous emerald eyes that no guy would ever forget. Now, she is thinking if she did the right thing. She did this every night, thinking if this is what is good for them. She couldn't help but cry, with the rain it was not in plain sight.

Now noticing that it was raining, she ran to the first tree she saw, which so happened to be the beech tree. This beech tree was her favorite tree in Hogwarts since it was filled with unforgettable memories. When she got under the shade, she then remembered a memory in the particular spot she was stepping on:

_**FLASHBACK:**_

**_Lily was sitting on the grass, leaning on the beech tree, on a bright Saturday afternoon, reading a book titled 'Kira-kira' which she got on a muggle bookstore during the summer. She never found the time to read it since she was Head Girl. With all the prefect meetings, duties of being Head Girl, maintaining her outstanding grades, organizing her time between being a Hogwarts student, being Head girl and squeezing in some time for herself takes a lot of hard work. This weekend is her only free weekend since James, the Head Boy promised that he was going to handle everything. _**

**_Lily thought that James changed a lot starting the end of their 6th year. Meaning, more responsible, less annoying, more organized, less perverted, more cooperative and less asking Lily out which for Lily was the biggest change he could ever do. _**

**_She was then surprised to see James sitting beside her, grinning with his hazel eyes directly at her. _**

_**He asked, "Do you mind if I sit here and read with you?"**_

_**"No." she answered. He then leaned on the tree, brought out a pocket book and started reading. Lily then faced her own book and pretended to read even though she was thinking of him. **_

_**'**Since when did James read pocket books? He's changed a lot more that I thought!' _

_**She then asked, "So James, are you done with your Head work that you promised me to do?" **_

"_**Yup."**_

"**_That was fast. Did you ask for help?"_**

"_**Yup. From Moony."**_

"_**Oh, good. I trust Remus."**_

"_**And you don't trust me."**_

"_**Of coarse I do, but it's more accurate if Remus helped you out."**_

_**This year, Lily started talking to James more often and started appreciating everything he did this year. James did quit that whole ASK-LILY-OUT-EVERYDAY-UNTIL-SHE-GETS-PISSED-OFF thing but she knows that his feelings for her is still there. **_

**_He sometimes leaves a bouquet of flowers on her desk in her room when she comes out from the bathroom, brings food when she doesn't get the chance to have dinner since she had too many things to do, visits her in the hospital wing when she's sick, cover-up for her when she's late in class, wakes her up when she over slept, the list keeps going on and on. She appreciates all those things that he did for her. He is more sweet, more romantic, more thoughtful and she just doesn't want to admit to herself but she knows that she likes him. Possibly, love him. _**

_**She kept on thinking about this when she heard someone calling her name.**_

**_"Lily, Lily! Are you okay? And, are you actually reading your book? Because you've been on the same page for the last 20 minutes and I've turned my page five times. My book is even bigger than yours and I know you're a fast reader because you're always the first one to finish reading in Divination."_**

_**"Yeah, I'm not really reading, more on thinking."**_

_**"About what?"**_

_**"Nothing." She said quickly.**_

_**James quirked an eyebrow and said, "Okay, about who?"**_

_**"No one." Even quicker that before.**_

_**He looked at Lily quizzically and returned to his book.**_

_**She stared at her book and was about to start reading when James said, "Lily, I need to talk to you." By the looks of it, he was nervous. That was a surprise to Lily. **_

'_Since when did James get nervous of anything?'_

_**He put his book down and faced Lily. "Lily, what do you think of me?" he started.**_

'_You're romantic, you're sweet, you're thoughtful and if you ask me out right now, I would definitely go out with you.'_

"_**You've changed." She said simply. **_

"_**That's it? Lily, yes I've changed for you! Lily, don't you understand, giving you flowers, visiting you in the Hospital wing, making excuses for you, I do it because I still love you! Other girls worship the grounds I walk on, but I don't want any of those girls Lils, I want you. I worship the grounds you walk on. I look at you 24/7 even though you don't notice. I don't miss an opportunity to chat, touch or even get near you,"**_

_**Lily was shocked on this sudden announcement and was silent, listening to everything he is saying with her mouth slightly open. **_

"**_Lily, I tried to forget about you but I just can't. I miss you when I don't see you. You're everywhere to me. You mean more to me that anything. When I found out that you were Head Girl, Lily, you don't know how happy and excited I felt. Knowing that I can protect you since your just a door away from me. Lily, when I see you all stressed out 'cause of work or sick in the Hospital Wing, Lils it hurts me. It's even more painful knowing that I can't do anything about it. So please, Lils, will you go out with me?"_**

END FLASKBACK

She smiled at the memory when another one occurred:

FLASHBACK:

**_James was quietly lying on his bed when Lily came in and said, "James we need to talk."_**

_**"Sure Lils, what is it?" James asked. James was curious for the reason that Lily seemed uneasy and worried. **_

_**"James I don't think it's working out between us and believe it or not, it's for the best. You probably won't understand my reason, but we can't be together."**_

_**Lily saw James' hurt hazel eyes. Lily herself was hurt. It was hard for her to say that to him because she loved him. She cared for him and honestly, that is why she is doing this.**_

**_She ran out the room and closed the door. Leaving a broken hearted James left alone to cope with his misery._**

END FLASHBACK

Her eyes were filled with unshed tears after she recalled the memory. She didn't want to cry again so she just closed her eyes. As she did, she started thinking if she did the right thing for them. It has been three days since the break-up and she goes out every night thinking the same thing, asking herself this question over and over again. She missed him so much. She was still leaning on the trunk of the beech tree, her eyes remained closed.

'_I'm the smartest witch in our class, how come it's so hard for me to figure out if I made the right choice to break-up with him?'_

Suddenly, she felt something (or someone) kissing her neck. She knew who it was. She would recognize that kiss even if she was blindfolded. It was obviously James. She kept her eyes closed as James took of his invisibility cloak. Lily opened her eyes seeing James kissing her neck. Oh, how she missed him so much. She wanted to pull back but she just couldn't. He made his way up to her lips and started to kiss them. When she felt James' lips on her, the desire that was in her took over and started kissing him as well. Her hands on both jaws, she deepened the kiss. It rained harder. Her hand slid down on her chest to push him back even though she didn't want it to end. It took all her strength to push him back. When she did, she saw James hazel eyes full with questions.

"Why? Lily I love you so much and I know that you love me too, I've waited so long Lily, so why, why did you break-up with me?"

"You wouldn't understand James. It may not be a big deal to you, but it is too me."

"Just tell me Lils." Lily closed her eyes and leaned against James chest. James caressed him and hugged him tight. Lily then looked up at his hazel eyes and said, "I don't deserve you James. I'm a mudblood. You give me flowers, visit me in the Hospital wing when I'm sick, cover-up for me when I'm late in class, protect me from the people who call me a mudblood. You do all these stuff for me and I don't do anything in return. You deserve a better girl James, not me."

James was wordless to hear all of this from her and said, "First, I do deserve you. I do all those stuff for you because I love you and the only thing that I want in return is you loving me back. Second, you're the only girl I want to be with since I stepped foot in Hogwarts. The first time I saw you, I thought you were an angel. I love you so please take me back. Don't do this to me."

Lily looked at him and he looked at her. For James, Lily was the most beautiful girl that ever lived. Even though she was soaking wet right now, her emerald eyes were like light in their surrounding darkness.

Unexpectedly, she hugged James and said, "I'm sorry for letting you go. It was a big mistake."


End file.
